My previous post; just minutes ago, had been impeccably deep, I think. Of course, I am in thousand percent agreement to what I had just said; nonetheless, I find that ALTHOUGH this world is NOT my playground, that the earth is a battle field for which I am a worthless pawn; I have dignity enough, at least, to write about MY emotions in MY own blog, right?
Not that I'm being hypocritical or anything. I will post for the sake of the planet and human rights as much as I can, but for now... I kind of want to use this blog as a site for self expression.
I deserve that, at least, don't I?
Yes, I know.
I'm a terrible, terrible person.
Nonetheless...
...
Today I woke up with a terrible flu. My flu was so bad that I missed the morning alarm twice and actually did not realize myself ask for FOUR more minutes when my mum came to wake me about four hours later.
I was supposed to wake up at 2am, see, so that I can study physics. But, unfortunately for me, it seems; life had other plans.
And so I awoke at 6.30am -- which, to me, is considered LATE because I have to leave around 7 and I usually spend about forty minutes in the bathroom (God knows why).
Hastily brushing my teeth and lathering myself with scented chemicals (which I am sure no good will come out of), I forgot, as per usual, to brush my hair (so THATS why its always messy!). I took my breakfast quickly. Put on my socks; yada, yada, yada...
...to cut things short, I just wanted to tell you how SICK I was today.
And, no. I don't mean one of those, "emotionally sick and wounded" -- I actually meant that I was literally sick.
Haha.
Exams were a disaster.
Physics was supposed to be an easy paper -- something I am so CERTAIN I could have scored if I had only taken the initiative to have studied beforehand. Also, I had this ear-splitting headache. Seriously. My lips were dry; yet hot; as if they were on fire. My eyes were watery. My throat was parched and sore. My cheeks were flushed. My nose was runny. My neck was stiff and painful. My head was heavy and throbbing.
Everything about me screamed, "Shut the f*ck up! I wanna go HOME!" -- but of course, sitting at the back of a fully-occupied classroom, the teacher behind me so close I could have felt him/her breathing down my neck, and my midterm paper staring obnoxiously at me from atop my orange-coloured desk -- it seemed I really had no choice.
So... there I sat. For two and a half hours. Just... sitting. Blowing my nose, rubbing my face, combing my fingers through my sticky, grimy hair (insult to injury, my hair. Seriously); I had actually used up about FOUR entire tissue packets; the tissues used all considerably wet and terribly worn, scattered before me.
Yes, yes. My day could have definitely gone worst if it hadn't been for recess (thank goodness for FOOD, glorious FOOD!).
After twenty minutes of not studying, my headache actually seemed to ease itself. My temperature had decreased as well. Also, my runny nose was not as... runny... as it had been before.
A considered miracle, I gasped, of course; if it hadn't been for the fact that, ONCE AGAIN, life just had to lend a hand.
I went home with a killer stomach ache. It seemed I was vomiting on the inside. I had actually gotten this crazy urge -- after rolling around in bed; moaning about the senseless pain I was going through -- to just rip myself open and SCRUB myself from the inside out. I just felt so... so unbelievably DISGUSTED with myself that I could not BEAR to be in my own presence.
My mother, of course, just had to be helpful by sending me off to bed -- which I, of course, had no qualms into doing.
However, just as the absolute misery finally seemed to ease itself...
...my f*cking air conditioner just stopped blowing cold air!!
I was sleeping in the damn heat of our typical Malaysian weather WITH a killer headache AND a monstrous stomach ache AND the thoughts of my History exam BEING the next DAY!
Ugh!!
I just feel so... so PISSED right now.
I mean; even NOW I have a few chapters of Sejarah to go and my aircond isn't functioning well.
Good crap. I KNOW I'm supposed not to be selfish and inconsiderate of the world around me and stuff -- but, SERIOUSLY! If this is the way things are going to keep going around here, than we'll be seeing a WHOLE lot more 5000-word rant posts, now, won't we?
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