Reality

"Somewhere on the other side of the rainbow, a child is dying."

For the longest time now, I had thought myself a caring person. Compassionate. Unselfish. Loving...

...but I see now how wrong I was.

I am neither one, nor any of the kind words used to describe a human being living on this planet. I am a horrible, horrible person, and for this, I live in shame. Pasting myself with so many false securities; I had, at one point in life, almost begun to believe in them. How sick, how twisted I am, I have come to realize at this moment.

For the longest time, I have been living in this crazy fantasy where I am the heroin. Where THEY are just side characters. Where life revolves around ME. Where occurrences are there only for MY sake.

I knew -- oh, yes, I KNEW; that out there somewhere children were dying. That somewhere in the Middle East, explosions were erupting. That young girls are being molested by their fathers. That a seventeen-year-old girl somewhere in New York had just lost her virginity to a complete stranger. That lava was spewing out from the belly of an active volcano; destroying three-years' worth of crops. That hurricanes were destroying all ready run-down homes. That families were being torn apart--

and YET

I am still here.

A selfish, insignificant, fool.

I sit and moan and whine and complain and yell and scream and cry -- for WHAT?

I am a terrible, terrible excuse of a human being. I am a monster. A heartless, hideous beast who actually BELIEVED she was looking out for the good in this world -- who actually BELIEVED she was one of the few "caring" people on this planet.

(dry laughter)

But oh, no. How wrong. How wrong I am to even THINK of such a thing. I am no better than all those people who pick up guns, aim it in the face of a total stranger -- in the face of a man who was LIVING merely SECONDS ago -- and pull the trigger.

If I can turn my head when the world is crumbling around me; if I can walk away while others DIE...

...then I am, in fact, worse.

It is time, now, that I humble myself. I am not a one-man army. Not a lone island. I cannot command myself to walk when, in fact, I hardly deserve to press my belly against cold earth and crawl. Starting from today onwards, I want to stop thinking about myself -- my problems, my happiness, my sorrow, my whatever.

Its time I stop staring at the minuscule DOT on a sheet of white paper; and take a look at the rest of the world.

And to whomever had read this; if you are just as guilty of the sins I have committed, then please. Don't hesitate to join me in my cause. I hope this post has opened your eyes, for I know, without question, that it had my own.

...together we shall make the world a better place.